Here at WPS, we take health insurance and health care pretty seriously. But there are times when you must take a step back, look at serious things at a really slanty angle, and have a laugh. This is one of those times.
You may have heard that laughter is the best medicine. This isn’t true. If it was, doctors would have found a way to charge you for it. (That’s a joke.) We’re going for laughs today. And really, laughter is good for you. Enjoy!
You might work in the insurance industry if …
- You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.
- It’s dark on your drive to and from work.
- You’re already late on an assignment you just received.
- More than 10% of the people in your company do not know what you do.
- When someone asks what you do for a living, you lie.
Doctors at a local hospital have gone on strike. Hospital officials say they will find out what the doctors’ demands are as soon as they can get a pharmacist over there to read the picket signs.
In the Bible
What was the first mention of health insurance in the Bible?
When Adam and Eve needed more coverage.
Top 10 Signs You Have a Cheap Health Plan
10. Annual breast exam is conducted at Hooters.
9. Directions to your doctor´s office include "take a left when you enter the trailer park."
8. Tongue depressors taste faintly of Fudgesicle.
7. Only proctologist in the plan is "Gus" from Roto-Rooter.
6. Only item listed under Preventive Care feature of coverage is "an apple a day."
5. Your primary care physician is wearing the pants you donated to the resale shop last month.
4. "Patient responsible for 200% of out-of-network charges" is not a typo.
3. The only expense covered 100% is embalming.
2. With your last health plan, your blood pressure pills didn´t come in different colors with a little "m" printed on each one.
1. Your doctor tells you to avoid any unnecessary stress. So you don’t open his bill.
Free health care options
Q. What should I do if I get sick while riding the bus?
A. Sit in a different part of the bus.
Q. How can I get free health care?
A. If you can’t afford a doctor, go to an airport. You’ll get a free X-ray and a breast exam. If you mention Al Qaeda, you’ll also get a free colonoscopy.
Q. I’m worried about my health.
A. Quit worrying about your good health. It’ll go away.
A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a motorcycle when he spotted a well-known cardiologist in his shop. The cardiologist was waiting for the service manager to come and take a look at his motorcycle. The mechanic shouted across the garage, “Hey, doc! Come and take a look at this!”
The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag, and said, “Doc, look at this engine. I open its heart, take the valves out, repair any damage, and then put them back in. When I finish, it works just like new. So how come I make only about $40,000 a year and you make more than $1 million?”
The cardiologist paused, smiled, and leaned over to whisper, “Try doing it with the engine running.”
A patient walks into a doctor’s office with a cucumber crammed into one ear, a carrot shoved up each nostril, and a head of lettuce stuck in his mouth. He manages to mumble, “Doc, you gotta help me. I feel awful. What’s wrong with me?”
The doctor replies, “You’re not eating properly.”
I hope you found some humor in poking fun at health insurance and health care in today’s post. If you’d like to find some health insurance, stop by our home page and pick the plan that’s right for you. If you really aren’t eating properly, take the carrots out of your nose and check out our online Health Center.